The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize