Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
