we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
