Dude my mom stole all your condoms
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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