He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
