There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
