What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
