Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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