A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
