i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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