the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
