Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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