I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Two words: blizzard sex
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
