We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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