White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
