rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
