Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
