I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
