Your mouth is God's brothel.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
