eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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