the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
