Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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