I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
