I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This is classic penis vs brain.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
