Apparently you make a good broom.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
