the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
