Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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