He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize