Cold hands, warm shart.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize