I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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