420 ftw
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
