where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize