I'm jealous of your bromance
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
