dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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