i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What a dumb baby whore.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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