i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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