just come out here and I will go home with you...
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
