just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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