so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
