you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize