you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
