We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
