wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
