i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
