He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
