Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
