I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
