Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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