He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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