Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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