i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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