Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
