make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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