My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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