Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
