No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
