Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
